Stressed?

STRESS

We all have the potential for stress occasionally, it is a natural 'fight or flight' response. 

Think about it, you're walking down the street at night, feeling vulnerable and you hear footsteps behind you, getting closer.

To begin with you start walking a little faster, you don't want to turn around because, you don't want them to know you're concerned? But then, if the footsteps increase in speed too, it feels like they are aware of you, you worry of their intent.

What happens next? because

The BIG money issue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to touch upon a ‘touchy’ subject with some people here, ‘money’

While some have a good relationship with money, others do not, sometimes, through, no fault of their own, health problems, unable to work, there are as many varied hard luck stories as there are people.  Whatever the 'story' lots of people genuinely need some help, and may not have the money to get it.

There's usually a lot of shame and guilt around ‘not having the money’ or taking benefits or even 'accepting' help!

I’m reading some horrendous stories about ‘tax credits’ in the UK, just being taken off people with nothing, and them being made homeless, referred to a telephone ‘counsellor’, except they are not professional counsellors at all.  One telephone so called counsellor told someone to go outside and have a cigarette?

I came across this as a counsellor, many years ago in a 'proper job', with mergers being made, I was offered another position as a ‘counsellor’, BUT it wasn’t for a counsellor, it was for a ‘Addictions worker’.  Yes, I could’ve applied for the job and probably got it, being an ‘insider’, and continued to take my ‘reduced’ monthly ‘living’ wage, but nevertheless, a ‘wage’.

I was appalled, of this idea!

True, some of them, who took the jobs, were proper counsellors, but, to work with others that had no professional training, just threw me a huge ‘curveball’.  You may say, I could’ve made a difference, on a ‘living wage’, but here’s the thing…

I would have had to ‘renounce’ my professional capacity as a counsellor

UNLESS, I worked part time, on top of a full time job, to fund being a counsellor.  If a counsellor ‘stops’ working, they cannot just ‘start’ again, it has to be continual, unless you don’t mind not being a member of a professional body.

With expenses of training over 5 years in the first place to be qualified, monthly supervision, Insurance, being a member of a professional body BACP, marketing, counselling directory, website, domain name, continual professional development (a stipulation of the professional body BACP) office supplies, Office rental, Tax, Accountant – All these expenses are not cheap.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not complaining here, only in that, some people are NOT getting the help they need NOW.  It’s such a tricky one, we as counsellors, cannot help ‘friends’ or people we know, and cannot work with anyone without a monetary exchange.  I've occasionally found myself in the grey area of this, well arguably facebook ‘friends’ are people you don’t really know anyway, but THEY FEEL you could just switch on your counsellor hat for them,  and quickly solve a problem?    

It’s an anomaly of counselling that, only if you’re a counsellor, you would understand?

It’s a bit like expecting a doctor to do an operation on a moving train? 

It’s not the time or place, and the profession has strict boundaries to follow that cannot be broken, because, otherwise counselling just doesn’t work - A doctor needs all the history of the patients illnesses, risk issues, mental and physical, all the details, life story etc.   The same goes for a counsellor, It's not something you can sort in an instant, of course that depends on how complicated the issue is, and how honest a client is first of all to themselves. 

Where am I going here, well, yes the people that need the help don’t usually have the money, but I don’t feel offering my time for £5 an hour is ever an option to be able to continue being able to afford being in my job!  I’ve seen this done in some places, I believe it cheapens the profession, and is saying to government funding, that its okay for counsellors to pay all their expenses and then just work as a ‘volunteer’?

I’m attempting here, to tell it exactly how it is

Of course I do concessionary priced sessions, but most of the clients I have, are working, so they enable me to be working too!  I also, do have a very small percentage of funding available  to me,  for those who don’t have any money left to deal with their issues, so if this fits you, then please do get in touch with me.

I believe, it is so important to get the help you need when, you need it.  It is brilliant to ‘be positive’ in the most awful circumstances, BUT not if you’re just ‘avoiding the issue’  It isn’t going to get any better, by burying it, I know that.  

www.absolutelyfabulousminds.com/

I know too well the feeling of shame, or guilt

Believe me, that is a huge mountain to get up and over yourself, on your own.  Sometimes, you need to ‘let it out’ otherwise it’s like a human volcano, that is going to erupt, and possibly put you in a dangerous position. 

You are better than that, YOU can do this, I do believe in YOU, and I CAN help and enable you…

It’s just a question of ‘if you’ll allow’ yourself to realise, there is an ‘issue’

That needs dealing with, and this can take many years sometimes, but until you do, you’ll be like a ‘bouncy ball’ and you’ll never really experience being truly ‘happy’.

What is the point in that?

 

Especially, when I can apply for the funds for YOU to get the help you need...

So please get in touch 01686 430503 / 07922828903

sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com 

Counselling can be face to face in the Mid Wales area, or Skype or phone

 

Art For Art's Sake

I've not commented about David Bowie departing this planet, I think that's because, I don't know what to feel.  Of course it's a great loss to us all, that's what people are expected to say right?  But the fact is, that when people depart, it only truly affects us, if they were in our lives.  

Because, those who have left, who were in my life, are the ones I miss the most.  Those in my family that not around me, I kind of have that, looking for them everywhere.  Because, that's the only place I've ever expected to see them, Oh that looked like my Dad in that car driving past, forgetting they had gone.  Maybe it's just my way of dealing with grieving for people, who I never had the option of getting to know further?  Making the mistake of thinking, they'd always be around. 

I think that's what it is with Bowie, I never imagined a life, without him.  Even though, of course I don't know him personally, but, I feel that when I did get to know him, it was such a critical time of my life...

Yes, I became a teenager in 1969.  What I remember about this time, is how creative, musical, anything goes music, clothes wise, fashion - it was like an explosion of colours, freedom and such an exciting time! The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zepplin, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchel, David Bowie - these artists, and so many more pushed boundaries.  They were seemingly left alone, by the 'marketing department' to do what they do best, to present a vision, of what they felt, at that time.

Not a 'record company' 'x factor' re-modelling in sight! Until the 70's?  It just felt like they were 'allowed' or accepted, to do 'art for art's sake' - To be free as artists, musicians, and mix it all together - It's what pure creativity is all about.

So, that's where I come from, not bound by any restriction, creatively of course.  (As a counsellor obviously I have my ethics to follow) Do you feel, we've all become so 'led' um, possibly not a good word, cos there's nothing the matter with learning.  Okay maybe I mean restricted, proper, not allowed to flow as a human being.  Are you in a 'proper job' 9 to 5, something that you may hate doing, just waiting for the day to pass?  What a waste, you see death usually brings us back, to our own and others mortality. 

That, we ultimately have a responsibility, to use our time well, here?  Not to waste it, to be happy in what we're doing? Because what's the point, in leading, a miserable life?  There are those who just work, towards being pensioned off, to be able to do what they want, then very often, not even reaching it?  How can that be a way forward? Isn't that a waste?

You see its my upbringing, with mentors such as Bowie, that I've always felt a rebel towards 'normal'.  I don't see any of us as 'normal' what is 'normal' I don't think any of us know, the answer to that, so we're all trying to 'be' something, we can't even explain.

How about becoming yourself, opening the cage, stepping out, taking that great idea, and using it to build your own business, that you love doing? That's what I'm doing, I love counselling, what it gives to others, it opens so many cages, freeing you! It's amazing.  I also love creativity, art, and music, none of us, are just one thing, we all have a multitude of talents, at our disposal, that others, would absolutely love!  

Most of the time, we fail at the first post, business!  If your creative, yes, it's difficult to put a business head on, but, it is possible to learn.  And what better way to learn, than Leonie Dawson's workbook yearly planners.  That's what I'm using, and they're brilliant, colourful, supportive, leading you gently, the Double Your Business programme is brilliant!   I've also joined the Academy because the support of the mastermind is just fantastic when you need a little help, and you get all the programmes with it.

So, I'm posting this here for you, to take advantage of, yes it is an affiliate link, she also gives back to those in the academy and I think that's so cool - I would never recommend something I didn't believe in - so what are you waiting for!  There are only few stocks left, of the planners, it being January, but did you know that only 1% of people actually write down their goals and review them, and hey, it's no surprise, that those people, are in the top earners bracket!  

Get them while were still in January, while stocks last! and begin! Click For Workbook and planners 

And for all the support and training you could ever possible want!  Click for Leonie's Academy 

Other news:

* I'm also on the brink of bringing out my own workshop to accompany my book, with meditations, paintings, worksheets etc - It's called Cinderella to Princess ! Watch this space!

* This is also a great time, at the beginning of the year to take hold of your life and get some counselling therapy for those issues that you know are there, but really! come on, you need to deal with them!  There's absolutely nothing to lose, my assessments are free (takes about 10 minutes) completely without obligation.  But why not begin the year in a positive way!

Any questions, have a look here on my FAQ's page 

Till next time, wishing you a wonderful new year!

Sally