When the suckies suck, Is this you?

So, its all going well, being focused on what I'm doing, nearly finished my online course intensive programme, complete with meditations and even music, when BAHM!!

You wake up the next day and the suckies have got you! Is this you?

No, this is not left just for those with depression, or any other ailment, believe it or not, it happens to all of us.  And most of us know, how to deal with it, some self care for instance, but when your feeling it, you don't want to think about that do you?

So, here's how it goes, you spend most of the morning washing your hair, find yourself on your phone, subscribed to two websites, because you wanted to watch a video, but don't feel like watching it now.  In fact, you never feel like watching a video?  Found a 'tool' to do voice typing so you don't have to watch it, you can read it instead:

1. Open browser

2. Open a new google doc. select tools select voice typing
3. 1st window start playing video

4. Click voice typing red button in other window

And your, putting this here, because you wrote all these tools down on a piece of paper, that inevitably will get used to light the fire later on, or in a pile of papers you'll find next year, and wonder where that went to.

Then, you look at the time, and you've wasted so much time, and you were supposed to be doing this, that, and the other? How can someone, from one day of being completely on the case, become tired, exhausted and unmotivated?

Then the next step is to start trolling through the jobs available list, cos there might just be one, suitable, along with what you're doing (no chance), and if there was, and you applied, they won't even acknowledge your application? what is that all about?  Are you old fashioned in wanting politeness ?

Then find yourself wondering what it would be like serving coffee's, imagining that, wow that sounds so easy! Then the needle scratches across the vinyl, which you wouldn't understand if born after 1980, and brings you back to reality.

And now, staring at the 3 most important tasks of yesterday, which you've done, but not focused on your 3 mit's today. You always put a ton of work into something, then, just as it's about to be officially launched, panic, focus on the fear, and think about a barista's job!

But you know, if your like me, you know that you do, what you do because:

a) You love it

b) You want to make a better world

c) You happen to be extremely good at what you do (and that's, what others say)

And you end up giving yourself a pep talk, cos, even those who know, what it is, when it happens, go through it and out the other side - here you are, and it doesn't matter how off track, you get, as long as you return, and carry on where you left off!  

And most of all believe in yourself - My word for 2016 - 'BELIEVE' - Yesterday I put together a video of a track, done a few years ago.  I'd actually forgotten about it, the name of the song is 'Believe' - so, just had to do something with it! 

It has some haunting fiddle playing from Martin Herbert, sadly, no longer with us, yes, he was a fine friend and musician and is missed.  Music always seems to touch an ethereal spiritual realm, to us, makes you remember, others 'lost' to us in our lives, yet, still very much alive, in our thoughts.

Art For Art's Sake

I've not commented about David Bowie departing this planet, I think that's because, I don't know what to feel.  Of course it's a great loss to us all, that's what people are expected to say right?  But the fact is, that when people depart, it only truly affects us, if they were in our lives.  

Because, those who have left, who were in my life, are the ones I miss the most.  Those in my family that not around me, I kind of have that, looking for them everywhere.  Because, that's the only place I've ever expected to see them, Oh that looked like my Dad in that car driving past, forgetting they had gone.  Maybe it's just my way of dealing with grieving for people, who I never had the option of getting to know further?  Making the mistake of thinking, they'd always be around. 

I think that's what it is with Bowie, I never imagined a life, without him.  Even though, of course I don't know him personally, but, I feel that when I did get to know him, it was such a critical time of my life...

Yes, I became a teenager in 1969.  What I remember about this time, is how creative, musical, anything goes music, clothes wise, fashion - it was like an explosion of colours, freedom and such an exciting time! The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zepplin, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchel, David Bowie - these artists, and so many more pushed boundaries.  They were seemingly left alone, by the 'marketing department' to do what they do best, to present a vision, of what they felt, at that time.

Not a 'record company' 'x factor' re-modelling in sight! Until the 70's?  It just felt like they were 'allowed' or accepted, to do 'art for art's sake' - To be free as artists, musicians, and mix it all together - It's what pure creativity is all about.

So, that's where I come from, not bound by any restriction, creatively of course.  (As a counsellor obviously I have my ethics to follow) Do you feel, we've all become so 'led' um, possibly not a good word, cos there's nothing the matter with learning.  Okay maybe I mean restricted, proper, not allowed to flow as a human being.  Are you in a 'proper job' 9 to 5, something that you may hate doing, just waiting for the day to pass?  What a waste, you see death usually brings us back, to our own and others mortality. 

That, we ultimately have a responsibility, to use our time well, here?  Not to waste it, to be happy in what we're doing? Because what's the point, in leading, a miserable life?  There are those who just work, towards being pensioned off, to be able to do what they want, then very often, not even reaching it?  How can that be a way forward? Isn't that a waste?

You see its my upbringing, with mentors such as Bowie, that I've always felt a rebel towards 'normal'.  I don't see any of us as 'normal' what is 'normal' I don't think any of us know, the answer to that, so we're all trying to 'be' something, we can't even explain.

How about becoming yourself, opening the cage, stepping out, taking that great idea, and using it to build your own business, that you love doing? That's what I'm doing, I love counselling, what it gives to others, it opens so many cages, freeing you! It's amazing.  I also love creativity, art, and music, none of us, are just one thing, we all have a multitude of talents, at our disposal, that others, would absolutely love!  

Most of the time, we fail at the first post, business!  If your creative, yes, it's difficult to put a business head on, but, it is possible to learn.  And what better way to learn, than Leonie Dawson's workbook yearly planners.  That's what I'm using, and they're brilliant, colourful, supportive, leading you gently, the Double Your Business programme is brilliant!   I've also joined the Academy because the support of the mastermind is just fantastic when you need a little help, and you get all the programmes with it.

So, I'm posting this here for you, to take advantage of, yes it is an affiliate link, she also gives back to those in the academy and I think that's so cool - I would never recommend something I didn't believe in - so what are you waiting for!  There are only few stocks left, of the planners, it being January, but did you know that only 1% of people actually write down their goals and review them, and hey, it's no surprise, that those people, are in the top earners bracket!  

Get them while were still in January, while stocks last! and begin! Click For Workbook and planners 

And for all the support and training you could ever possible want!  Click for Leonie's Academy 

Other news:

* I'm also on the brink of bringing out my own workshop to accompany my book, with meditations, paintings, worksheets etc - It's called Cinderella to Princess ! Watch this space!

* This is also a great time, at the beginning of the year to take hold of your life and get some counselling therapy for those issues that you know are there, but really! come on, you need to deal with them!  There's absolutely nothing to lose, my assessments are free (takes about 10 minutes) completely without obligation.  But why not begin the year in a positive way!

Any questions, have a look here on my FAQ's page 

Till next time, wishing you a wonderful new year!

Sally

  

         

Does the thought of counselling bring up your fears ?

Does the thought of counselling bring up your fears?

Does it? Do you start thinking, what's it going to be like, how on earth can I explain it all, and not cry or get upset? or what's it going to be like talking to a stranger?  What if I don't feel like saying anything? What if I don't feel comfortable? or What if I get a panic attack? What do I have to do? How does it work? How will I be able to afford it?


There are so many fears that come into our heads and none of us are alone in this, but what are fears? they are the unknown.  With that in mind, I'm attempting here, to answer some of the questions, that may stop you from making the first appointment! So you may know, a little, of what to expect.  Hopefully this post address's some of those fears, but, if I don't mention one of the ones you have, then please comment and I will elaborate on that one.


How can you explain all the problems without getting upset?


The answer is, you probably will get upset, but, and the big but is, that maybe you need to express yourself by crying and letting it out.  It's okay, that is part of the healing sometimes, like a pressure cooker letting off steam.


Maybe the next question is, What! cry in front of a stranger?


Remember that counselling is a completely, non-judgemental space, yes it may make you vulnerable, but that is where, the most learning is achieved.  Talking it out to someone who is neutral, is so valuable because, we don't know each other personally, I cannot, counsel good friends because I wouldn't be able to be, non-judgemental. I did comment before, that you cannot connect via private message, but, I'm finding now it's a brilliant way of working.


What if I don't feel comfortable?


Well, that's why I do a FREE assessment over the phone, or Skype, to assess your situation and...
 
a) whether I feel able to help you with your issue, but also


b) To make sure, we both feel comfortable talking to each other.  Cos you never know, til you talk to someone, whether you can connect with them or not?  I do, understand about this, which is why, if you felt 'oh no I don't gel with this person', assessments are completely without obligation.  As a counsellor I know we all have, 'our own people' that we feel comfortable with.


But then, a big part of my training is to create a comfortable 'space' for you to feel as 'relaxed' in the situation as possible!  I do this by creating 'your' space, being focused on you 100%, using my training to help you realise blocks, or the way forward for you (there is always a way). Obviously, my training covers a lot more than this, It's about using my learnt 'tools' to bring out your perfect solutions for your life challenges.


How does it work?


Well, I've said a little about the 'space' in the previous answer.  There are different models of counselling.  I use mainly Person Centred Counselling, why do I love it? because it's so very gentle, and a master of counselling I believe, because it brings out your own answers within you, like brainstorming, but better than that, it works completely on what, and how you are, 'in the moment'.


It's founder Carl Rogers, imagined in the future, that schools would utilise counsellors to bring out the child's brilliance within.  It's making the 'child' the centre rather than the teacher, who is teaching the same syllabus they've always taught.  It gives a chance for us to evolve as human beings.  In this way, PCC can be utilised for absolutely any subject?  This, to me, the significance of it, is so, so, exciting, and why, it also works brilliantly as mentoring too.  PCC also works well with dream therapy too. The thing I love about PCC is it teaches the way, of solving your future problems too.


So PCC is my absolute favourite model, but, if need be, if it's beneficial for the client, I will use more directional models such as Cognitive Behavourial Therapy or CBT and Psychodynamic.



What is CBT? I find it can be harsher, It's more directional, utilising suggestions, ideas, exercises usually on paper or drawing, stones, buttons etc.  Which can work well too, and I do use it when I feel it is needed for that particular client.


Psychodynamic is useful in making links with childhood, re-occurring ones throughout life, which I find quite fascinating, again, when required I will utilise this one too.


What if I feel I don't want to say anything?


That is completely okay.  Is it wasting the session? Absolutely not, maybe you need the space to collect your thoughts? The session is 'your time' to be, talk, be quiet, to think, to express and it can put you on the right track.  First sessions are usually either quiet, emotional or a torrent of talking of the clients whole life! But, there is no expectation and no norm.  It is centred around you.


What do you have to do?


Just be yourself.


What happens if I get a panic attack?


We would have already gone through any medical issues or experiences in the assessment, so I'd know if that was an issue.  We would have already talked about how to deal with this, before the session.  I probably would suggest some grounding, and breathing to calm you.  I am a Hypnotherapist too, so I do understand anxiety issues, and what to do to alleviate them.  Of course I would have your doctors details and emergency number too if required. 


How will I be able to afford it?


As counsellors, we are fully aware of the lack of funding, out there for therapy, especially in the UK.  Organisations for particular issues, usually provide free counselling as do some clinics, in both cases, go and see your doctor to be referred.  Unfortunately, these options usually have lengthy waiting lists, because they are greatly needed, don't even get me started!


So yes, I do keep a few appointments reserved with concessionary prices.  If you find even that concessionary price difficult, then please do discuss price with me.  Your 'investment' in yourself, if it's a stretch, is also a declaration, you're investing in yourself, sometimes, you'll psychologically put more weight behind it working for you.


As I said before, if you have any further questions then please do ask in the comments below or you can always email me at: sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com
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