Keeping the doors open to good stuff

You know that feeling, when you retract, when you get scared? You feel it in your stomach, like a fight or flight feeling?  When you feel vulnerable, lost, alone? It makes you feel smaller, in your energy, what your putting out.

Then all the doors close shut.  Whatever energy has been flowing out of you, halts.  Your energy, world and directions all become closed and tightened, like you've locked the doors, drawn up the portcullis and no-one can reach in to you.

You may know you're doing this, because you WILL feel it.  It can be a feeling of hopelessness, and a complete letting go of everything.  In some cases that can be useful, because your fears show you what it is you need to be face?

Cos lets face it, unless you face your fears, they will always be there?  How can you know how to deal with them if you don't look at them?  Our stomachs are our emotional centres, so 'her stomach dropped' is an expression of this, we physically feel our emotions, good or not so good.

In fact our true deep down emotions control our health, our mind has a great part in regulating our body.  If you've got stuff going on, for goodness sake let it out! Emotion is meant to be felt, not bottled up to explode one day with the straw that broke the camels back because it couldn't take any more.

We live in a supposed 'civilisation'? that doesn't seem to recognise that yes, its okay to ask for help, it's actually courageous, in the UK we see it as weak, someone with mental health issues, yes well we are all human, and not machines!

And how strange that if your in the USA everyone has 'therapy' in fact, it is almost a status symbol?

'Oh, what? you mean you don't have a therapist?'  

Everyone has one, it's completely normal, no-one sees it as a knock on yourself personally, or 'oh she couldn't cope, poor thing' Why and when are we going to realise that, yes, we all need help sometimes, that is what facing our fears is about, is it not?

We may get a therapist like Tracy Ullman in Ali Mcbeal, who suggests a 'theme song' ha! no I'm not suggesting that, and no, that's not part of my therapy,  but, if it helps why not?  Cos everyone is different, everyone is unique, and reacts to different things. 

That is why, you cannot speak about a whole nation of 'mental health' needs and stereotype them all in one bag.  These are people we're talking about, and I love the way others teach you so much, if your willing to learn, of course.  Me, I learn from so many different people, because everyone you come across has their own story, their own wonderful, amazing strength, wisdom and teaching.

And that is why, you have to open the doors, and 'feel' in life, in therapy, and even as a therapist.  None of it follows the norm, none of it does what it says on the box, none of it makes any sense sometimes!  But, we as humans, are all the same in that we, carry on with whatever does it for us, whatever drives us, no matter how difficult and seemingly impossible sometimes.

Sorting out what we don't want, thinking and focusing on what we do want, opening the doors for good things to flow freely in. 

Sometimes, we just have to let go, not hold on too tightly, allow ourselves to just be.  To be unsure,

to be vulnerable, to listen, to learn, to express emotion.  In all it's colours, textures and combinations.

 

And after you've expressed how you feel, no matter what, be kind to yourself, give to yourself, be gentle and respectful and allow yourself some self care, some love, even a cup of warm soothing tea


Because we are human, divine, miraculous, impossibly resilient and courageous - most of the time we do it all with a smile on our face and hopefully, passion in our hearts, what else is there? 


But it's realising that we are all these things, that is something huge to be grateful for, as in Ian Dury's hit 'Reasons to be cheerful part three' okay I do have theme songs, or more rather, songs that play through my head but are ever changing.


I told you we're all different.  Never be scared to show that your human, because that's what we all are.




Who am I?  I'm Sally Hope Woodroffe a Professional, Registered Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Artist, Musician, Singer Songwriter, prolific creative woman hopefully creating a better world in many ways.  You can join me at www.absolutelyfabulousminds.com or email at sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com and subscribe here to receive various goodies and competitions!

Do you relate to this?

There’s something important I need to say, about me, but, I have to say it because it may be about you too.  If your anything like me, then you will feel this sometimes.

I was always a shy kid, didn’t make friends easily, I was always friendly, but, making friends didn’t happen naturally like it did for others?  My friends at school were all the kids that no-one wanted to be friends with, multi-cultural kids or the quiet thinking book worm ones.

I wasn’t shouty, dramatist, uniquely clever or dull – just going through the motions, hating all sport!  I loved books, but in school, ‘War of the Roses’ at 9? Seriously?  I always felt I was the observer, watching everything play out around me.  I guess I was quite serious and thoughtful; like I was born adult.

Forward 50 years, still the same! I can see now, why I’m good at listening, why I have the patience, others wouldn’t have, why I can give my undivided attention to someone 100% - that comes easy to me, in fact I’ve been doing it all my life as the listener.

Here’s where it gets difficult, they say in marketing, to be yourself, which is kind of missing the first hurdle? Because I’m not talky talky, I’m more listen y listen y and I’m saying this, cos you may feel it too.  In every group there’s the mad one, the crazy one, the serious one, the drama queen, the feeling one, and the quiet one.

That’s not to say I don’t have a wicked sense of humor, I love laughing, and, if I can say so myself, be very funny as my ‘timing’ is usually perfect, it’s the ‘way’ you tell ‘em!  I was born expressing, music, lyrics, singing, writing, feeling, growing.

And that’s all I can be, myself, that’s all I want to be, myself, the deep thinker, the philosopher, the woman who paints ‘whatever’ with her heart, creates whatever, with all she has, puts into each and everything the best she can. 

I don’t believe in doing anything half measures, I have a strict ‘observer’ observing me, I’m the one who can replay conversations days later, untangling them almost like I have a replay button! Yeah I know weird right? But true.  I work at seeing links that stick in my mind, that tease me, so that I have to gently approach them and, while they’re not looking, cajole them out, like a kitten hiding under the step, to bring them out, to untangle them, look at them.

Then they show themselves, and eureka it’s a breakthrough, a moment of realization, that you cannot ‘put off’ otherwise it will fly away, if you do.  No, you have to take the tail now! And run with it, that is the only way of catching it

I guess that’s one of my failings, attempting to re-create the wheel, but it has to be worth doing well in my life, otherwise I don’t see the point.  So, yeah sometimes I feel like the dreamer, but that’s who I am.   In a medieval world I would be the astrologer, the philosopher, and the bard – either that or I’d be living on a hilltop.  Some things never change?   

I’ve connected spiritually in many ways.  It’s that question, if your listening to your mind, who is it that is answering?   That’s not to say, I’d tell you, well you may as well leave him now, because it’s your journey not mine, and you cannot ‘force’ others to grow. Their journey should be their own.

I guess I see using these ‘gifts’ like being told truths, without having to experience it? It won’t mean anything, like taking mind altering drugs to open neural pathways, you’re really not prepared for.

Yes of course this is about me, but I felt it was important, because some of you would really relate to it…

Some thinker musings…

Who am I?  I'm Sally Hope Woodroffe a Professional, Registered Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Artist, Musician, Singer Songwriter, prolific creative woman hopefully creating a better world in many ways.  You can join me at www.absolutelyfabulousminds.com or email at sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com and subscribe here to receive various goodies and competitions! 

Of Course I don't have mental health issues, do I ?

It is the hoax of the century isn't it?  Lets define 'Mental Health issues' shall we?

The definition of the term 'Mental Health' from the Oxford Dictionary is:

   'A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being: all this pressure seems to be affecting his mental health'

Oh, so that means, as long as were not under any pressure, our emotional well being will be okay?

Hello, earth to whoever's out there - um but, we're human?  So, to re-cap, we'll be okay if we don't have any relationships, children, jobs, unemployment, houses, money troubles, or any other nasty surprises!

I'm sorry I think I just walked into a parallel world or universe? well you'd have to, to eliminate all of that wouldn't you - the only thing you can think of, to be on that vibration, is to run away to a monastery and denounce everything in your life?

But you don't want to do that.  What I'm saying here is that the 'tag' of mental health affects us all, most of the time, obviously there are differing scales and degrees of it, as there are differing human beings, with different thoughts and uniqueness.

I've never particularly liked that 'tag' anyway, it just suggests we're completely mad, sorry but it does, I think because the word 'mental' is used? Dur could be? Could'nt it have been called 'Peaceful Health Issues'? that makes more sense to don't you think? Where would be the stigma if anyone threw that at you...

 'I think your suffering from 'peaceful health issues!!!'  

'Yeah so what' would be the reply...end of...I rest my case

It's a word that automatically makes you not want to have it, the stigma is there by saying I have mental health issues, is a bit like saying I have fleas or something equally as 'you shouldn't admit it', just saying it makes it all sound so much worse? It's stigma on top of stigma.

It's not like saying, 'well actually I feel a little down today' or 'don't know why but I feel a little lost at the moment' or 'I feel like crying today and I don't know why?'

These seem to be 'human tendencies' and it seems to be a present day malady, to have to pretend we're okay with all of our life, all the time, hell no there's no vulnerabilities here, of course not!  

I'm here to tell you on planet earth, it's okay, cos we're human, you can have an off day, you can be angry, you can cry if you feel like it, AND I'm never going to ever, ever 'tag' you with the 'mental health issues' term.  It de-humanises us doesn't it, a bit like the other term 'service user' that people in care homes have become. That to me is shocking.

So, where are you at, what peaceful health issues are you having at the moment?

And just so you know that we ALL get similar issues happening to us, none of us are 'let off' from feeling knackered from raising kids, from feeling emotional for so many reasons, for not knowing what our direction should be, or for doubting in ourselves and our worth, it's a hole we can fall into at any time unless we actually listen to our own voice of reason, which sometimes for obvious reasons, we don't.

You know it can just be, so complicated being a woman? with all those hormones kicking around every month? 

Yes, it can be a big deep puddled hole just like Dawn French in the Vicar of Dibley!

And if it's so deep that you're not sure you can pull yourself out of it, then that is why I am here for you.  Cos I've been there, done that and know how it feels, and I'm trained to help you gently put you, back together again.

Just you and me to re-build, put you back together again, for you to love your life once more, to feel joy in the morning, even with the occasional small dips - that is worth everything! That is what is called peaceful health.

To your wonderful peaceful health! 

Who am I?  I'm Sally Hope Woodroffe a Professional, Registered Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Artist, Musician, Singer Songwriter, prolific creative woman hopefully creating a better world in many ways.  You can join me at www.absolutelyfabulousminds.com or email at sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com and subscribe here to receive various goodies and competitions! 

   

Do you have the best people around you?

Just to let you know about a new product - 'Cinderella To Princess' Intensive Self Development Course.  Its an 7 week online course, and letting you know there's a competition up until 14th Feb, to give a FREE 10 copies in return for your testimonials, all you have to do is subscribe on my site, then send me an email saying 'I'm in'  - check out all the details on the Cinderella To Princess page ! yaaayyhooo  Yes, I'm offering it to my subscribers first! It's about Self Worth, a biggy subject for women.


What's this got to do with the title, well everything really.  We all know the story of Cinders, being like a slave to the ugly sisters, and putting up with it!


And sometimes you've only yourself to blame, eh, doing it in the first place, or just not having the best people around you.  I mean those who support you, who are rooting for you, who don't give you that uhh look when you talk about what your working on, even if it is out there! At least to give you a chance, to suspend judgement until you can surely say, well yes that was a crazy idea...


But you know what, wouldn't you rather go after crazy ideas than not?  Wouldn't you rather reach upwards in any direction and attempt to pull it off, give it the belief, even if you don't - and if this person is around you, personally I mean of course, don't you expect them to be around 'for' you.


That's not to say, you want 'yes' people around you on the contrary, be prepared to find the 'professionals' or even define them as wiser people than you, so you can learn what you need to learn, when you need to learn it. 


You don't want to stay still, you want to grow, expand, blossom into more of who you are, into the very best version of you. 


It's the difference between having 7 injections or immense pain in your teeth, and why would you want to invite pain if you don't need to suffer it?  Get the very best professionals around you, and they will look after you, why suffer?


I know some people just don't understand this online world?  There are those who you'll explain what your doing online or anywhere and they'll say, 'I don't understand a single word your saying!' lol - so then you revert to, small talk again.  That's okay, everyone to their own.


Maybe you just have to accept, that if you've found your tribe out there, and hell yes! they understand you, they're there for you and we help each other with what we need, don't you think that's absolutely awesome!




Who am I?  I'm Sally Hope Woodroffe a Professional, Registered Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Artist, Musician, Singer Songwriter, prolific creative woman hopefully creating a better world in many ways.  You can join me at www.absolutelyfabulousminds.com or email at sally@absolutelyfabulousminds.com and subscribe here to receive various goodies and competitions!