Thursday, 21 January 2016

When the suckies suck, Is this you?

So, its all going well, being focused on what I'm doing, nearly finished my online course intensive programme, complete with meditations and even music, when BAHM!!

You wake up the next day and the suckies have got you! Is this you?

No, this is not left just for those with depression, or any other ailment, believe it or not, it happens to all of us.  And most of us know, how to deal with it, some self care for instance, but when your feeling it, you don't want to think about that do you?

So, here's how it goes, you spend most of the morning washing your hair, find yourself on your phone, subscribed to two websites, because you wanted to watch a video, but don't feel like watching it now.  In fact, you never feel like watching a video?  Found a 'tool' to do voice typing so you don't have to watch it, you can read it instead:

1. Open browser
2. Open a new google doc. select tools select voice typing
3. 1st window start playing video
4. Click voice typing red button in other window

And your, putting this here, because you wrote all these tools down on a piece of paper, that inevitably will get used to light the fire later on, or in a pile of papers you'll find next year, and wonder where that went to.

Then, you look at the time, and you've wasted so much time, and you were supposed to be doing this, that, and the other? How can someone, from one day of being completely on the case, become tired, exhausted and unmotivated?

Then the next step is to start trolling through the jobs available list, cos there might just be one, suitable, along with what you're doing (no chance), and if there was, and you applied, they won't even acknowledge your application? what is that all about?  Are you old fashioned in wanting politeness ?

Then find yourself wondering what it would be like serving coffee's, imagining that, wow that sounds so easy! Then the needle scratches across the vinyl, which you wouldn't understand if born after 1980, and brings you back to reality.

And now, staring at the 3 most important tasks of yesterday, which you've done, but not focused on your 3 mit's today. You always put a ton of work into something, then, just as it's about to be officially launched, panic, focus on the fear, and think about a barista's job!

But you know, if your like me, you know that you do, what you do because:

a) You love it
b) You want to make a better world
c) You happen to be extremely good at what you do (and that's, what others say)

And you end up giving yourself a pep talk, cos, even those who know, what it is, when it happens, go through it and out the other side - here you are, and it doesn't matter how off track, you get, as long as you return, and carry on where you left off!  

And most of all believe in yourself - My word for 2016 - 'BELIEVE' - Yesterday I put together a video of a track, done a few years ago.  I'd actually forgotten about it, the name of the song is 'Believe' - so, just had to do something with it! 

It has some haunting fiddle playing from Martin Herbert, sadly, no longer with us, yes, he was a fine friend and musician and is missed.  Music always seems to touch an ethereal spiritual realm, to us, makes you remember, others 'lost' to us in our lives, yet, still very much alive, in our thoughts.