Monday, 28 December 2015

What does a happy life look like?

An interesting question, this picture above is of me, after finding out, an offer for a house had gone through.   I do look extremely happy, but also, there's a lot of my family around me too.

I know it sounds trite, but I need to say, that happiness is not always about your life running smoothly, or having the perfect house, location, job, etc.  I feel it has much more to do with 'who' you spend it with, your family, friends or those people who, really 'get you', and then even sometimes those who don't.  Some people drive you mad, and yet, they are still part of the family.

It's later on, when your kids have left home and you miss the manic-ness, the noise, the mess!, the friends of theirs, the characters, challenges, but, ultimately, the love, the bonding, the parenting (not easy at times!) but hey, so worthwhile, so special when you look back.  And you think, hey, after all the odds against us, we did really well, in producing and teaching, someone who turned into such a beautiful person. 
And this goes for extended family too!  Whenever, we love to see them as much as possible! 

I do regard our son, as one of our greatest achievements in life!  Our parenting was great! To have a son, that cares about you, unconditionally, is wonderful, and when I speak to him on the phone, or when I see him, that's what, to me, a happy life looks like, the connections with those we love. 
Yes, parenting can be difficult, in fact I would go as far as to say, it's probably one of the hardest things to do in the world!  Why? We're not born parents, and we can only look to our own role models for help, children are extremely challenging, and the most beautiful experience at the same time!  Parenting is one of the most rewarding challenges I know. 

Spending Christmas dinner together with family, that's another moment of what a happy life looks like.  Obviously, I can only speak for how I determine, what a happy life is about.  It's also about feeling you are doing something worthwhile, though it could be just working and 'being' creates happiness.

Everyone is different, wanting different things to make them happy.  It's not often, we stop and consider, do I want to do this, or what would, make me happy? Cos sometimes the reality is quite different to the idea in your head.  

I guess the answer to what does a happy life look like, is that, it's not what it 'looks like' that matters, it's how it 'feels' that does.  Or how, it makes YOU feel.  I am lucky in that, I have a wonderful relationship with my partner, and that is so important to find 'the one' for you, if that's important to you of course!

I suppose, the questions we need to ask ourselves are:

What would my happy life 'feel' like?

Who, would I want around me, for my life to be happy?

What would I spend my time doing, to create a happy life, what lights me up?

Life is precious, I do know you need to enjoy it, spend time with those you love, or who are your people, and to be encouraged by those around you, to be the best possible version of yourself.

These are BIG questions, and can only be reached step by step.  I do recommend having a mentor, who can offer you growth and support for whatever way you choose to consider, and as an ongoing support, it truly is invaluable.

Some of these questions are elaborated upon in my online workshop, an add on to my workbook, along with meditations to bring clarity to 'what you want' and 'where you are in life' .  This, will be available very soon!  But meanwhile, asking these questions, or pondering them, will help you to at least, begin to answer this question, for yourself.  A happy life is worth it!