Monday, 6 March 2017

Is it just EastEnders or normal life?

Do you watch any soaps? I watch one, it crept up on me, but there’s something comforting, about watching the characters you know the history of?  Okay, I’m talking EastEnders!
It’s not my normal TV watching, cos I love funny programs, one’s that make you laugh out loud, or ones with clever wit, intelligence, characters and good acting.  It helps to portray ‘normal’ life and there’s always ‘one of each’ in the square!  Just look at the Gilmore Girls and Stars Hollow!  I love that series.
Of course, Christmas specials always focus on more serious stories.  Why is that?   
The addictions, those who can never ask for help, get deeper and deeper into living on lies, to cover up anything, about being human?  There were three stories over this period:
The first was Lee, the publican’s son, just married Whitney, and moved into their flat.  He’s lied about his job at a call center, being bullied by nasties working there, he's making out, it’s a big job in the city with his own office.  Well, lies have an ability to escalate, getting far more ridiculous, he’s now attempting to ‘be a man’ by borrowing money from loan sharks to give Whit everything, he thinks, she ‘should’ have? She’s saying things like: ‘Well your earning the money, I’m so proud of you etc.  
He ends up, after work in the car park, leaving a note in the car saying ‘sorry’ – he climbs over the safety barrier, on top of the wall, a few flights up.  He’s being pushed over the edge ‘literally’ by his ‘stuff’ doesn’t know what to do, resulting in an eventual ‘talking down’ by the worker of the car park, who does a good job, and hands him a ‘Let’s talk’ card from the Samaritans.
He then ‘talk’s’ to his Dad, but only when his Dad finds the ‘Let’s talk’ card, who is disgusted by his behaviour, 'how would that help?'  His Dad disables him by ‘taking over his debts’.  Ironically, from a loan shark again cos his Dad cannot, raise the money, and ironically not telling his wife either.  So far, Lee has still not spoken to the right people to get help for himself.  Oh, it’s all going to end in tears, err maybe they should use that card like, now?

Then there’s the big exit for Ronnie and Roxy, two sisters at Ronnie’s wedding.  All they had to do was be sensible for just 20 minutes together.  But no! 
Ending up Roxy, jumping in the swimming pool, having a heart attack, cos she’s been doing Cocaine for ages, and Ronnie jumping in to save her, getting caught up in her wedding dress, and them both drowning. 

Then Max, who went down for committing a murder, he was set up for, ‘forgiving’ the person who bribed the jury, bruiser, Phil, currently recovering from a liver transplant because of his alcoholism.  Max then walks out of the hospital with a cigarette, draws back his sleeve, to show how he’s burnt his arm several times with a cigarette butt, causing some self-harm.

And hey, what I love about EastEnders’s is, I can talk about these ‘characters’, and the fact that they do represent real life, but also, crazily along with the ‘whatever you do don’t get help’?

Why, why, why, is it such a bad thing in our society to ask for help?  It’s courageous, it’s obvious, it’s what anyone can do, be honest to yourself, a potential suicide case, anyone with addiction problems, drugs, alcohol, self-harm, or anyone who has any problems at all!  so many other issues come into these – we are not island's, we are human, its okay, just ask.

Help can be needed, from one end of the scale to the other in severity, but, it isn’t going to get better by doing nothing, or trying to ignore it!   You may question, how does talking change things?  it’s a ‘process’, because the very ‘best’ person that you can be, IS INSIDE YOU.  Shame, that’s not taught in schools eh?

Why would you know 'how to' manage feelings, emotions if parents or school didn’t teach you?  It’s neither weak, fault, cowardice, to not know something about life.  It’s not your parents fault either, they may have suffered the same, addictions from their parents, and so on, which btw alcoholism can be hereditary, did you know that?  

What do you want for your kids?  Do you want them to feel ‘free’ to express themselves? To be sure of ‘who’ they are? What they want in life?  How are you going to do that unless, you teach them?  What will you teach them? 
Hopefully, that emotions and feelings ARE allowed, and if they ever need to see a therapist ‘whenever’, for things that they may not be able to talk to you about?  That is okay, that’s healthy.   
Hey I'll let you into a secret of my own, well actually it's not a secret, but a condition of my profession, to see a therapist if I need one.  Because yes, if I'm burnt out, or feeling emotional about something, then yes I need to sort it out to be 'neutral' in my work.  Yes, that is a picture of me above, I always say to my husband how I'd love to act in EastEnders!   
Does that surprise you?  I'm telling you this so you can take 'therapy' out of the 'you've got to have a HUGE serious problem to have it box'

We all know Phil and Max, grew up in bullied childhoods, Ronnie and Roxy grew up with a narcissistic, sexually abusive Dad, and Lee is suffering from post-traumatic stress after being in the Army, without adequate therapy.  Their life situations, brought them to that place, it wasn’t a conscious ‘choice’ of theirs, it was a coping mechanism, cos they didn’t know what else to do with their feelings.  It’s okay, it will be okay, as long, as you ASK for help.
Postscript:  Yes, I know, if you watch EastEnders, you’ll know by now, and if not, you probably don’t care! All characters are carrying on, without asking for help? 
Lee has run off away, Dad has taken on his ‘loans’ and got to the same stage considering the roof, WILL SOMEONE LET HIM FIND THE CARD ‘LET’S TALK’?   

Whatever it is you cannot handle, there's always a way!  that’s what therapists are trained for.

Who am I? I'm Sally Hope Woodroffe, a Professional, Registered Counsellor, Hypnotherapist, Artist, Musician, Singer-Songwriter, prolific creative woman, creating 'in my own way' a better world - Go to my website for more details of how to book an appointment so that you too can create 'your perfect world too!'  Or here's my numbers, simply give me a ring! 01686 430503-mobile 07922828903 or leave a message - Yes you can have it all! Speak soon - Sally  

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